Funny Math Jokes

Q: What is green and homeomorphic to the open unit interval?
The real lime.

Q: What is yellow, linear, normed and complete?
A Bananach space.

Q: What do you call a young eigensheep?
A lamb, duh!

Math and Alcohol don’t mix, so… Please Don’t Drink and Derive!

Q: What is a proof?
One-half percent of alcohol.

Q: What’s the contour integral around Western Europe?
Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!
Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable!

Q:What is a dilemma?
A lemma that proves two results.

Q: What’s a polar bear?
A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

Q: What’s nonorientable and lives in the sea?
Moebius Dick.

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
An Algebra.

In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.0. As you know, everything shrinks in the cold. They call it Eskimo pi.

Q: Why didn’t Newton discover group theory?
Because he wasn’t Abel.

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!

Alex: What’s your favorite thing about mathematics?
Jake: Knot theory.
Alex: Yeah, me neither.

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components.

Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog Cauchy?
Because he left a residue at every pole.

Q: What do you get if you cross oatmeal with a duck?
|oatmeal|*|duck|*sin(theta)

Q: What is a topologist?
Someone who cannot distinguish between a donut and a coffee cup.

Q: What is a compact city?
It’s a city that can be guarded by finitely many nearsighted policemen.

Q: Why can’t you grow wheat in Z/6Z?
It’s not a field.

Q: What’s grey, huge and has integer coefficients?
An elephantine equation.

Q: What is used by Canadians (and people from Wisconsin) to help solve certain differential equations?
The Lacross transform.

Q: What is clear and used by trendy sophisticated engineers to solve other differential equations?
The Perrier transform.

Q: What is very old, used by farmers, and obeys the fundamental theorem of arthimetic?
An antique tractorization domain.

Q: Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?
They required an orientation.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
To get to the other…

Q: What did Zero say to Eight?
Nice belt.

Q: Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably…

Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at the Mandarin, insist on taking the leftovers home?
Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!

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2 Comments.

  1. Did you know that…
    a pizza with the radius “z” and thickness “a” has volume pi*z*z*a

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  2. that was wonderful and hilarious who ever came up with this should ben a compedian

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