A few math jokes

Joke 1:

Four friends have been doing really well in their calculus class: they have been
getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it’s time for the
final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another
friend’s birthday party in another city – even though the exam is scheduled for Monday
morning. As it happens, they drink too much at the party, and on Monday morning, they
are all hung over and oversleep. When they finally arrive on campus, the exam is
already over. They go to the professor’s office and offer him an explanation: “We went
to our friend’s birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on
Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we were
driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help.” The professor nods
sympathetically and says: “I see that it was not your fault. I will allow you to make
up for the missed exam tomorrow morning.”

When they arrive early on Tuesday morning,
the students are put by the professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far
apart from each other that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam
booklets are already in place, and confidently, the students start writing. The first
question – five points out of one hundred – is a simple exercise in integration, and
all four finish it within ten minutes. When the first of them has completed the
problem, he turns over the page of the exam booklet and reads on the next one:

Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?


Joke 2:

A mathematician, statistician and accountant were finalists for a position as VP in a
large corporation. The hiring committee asked them all the same last question:

The mathematician was first.”How much is 500 plus 500 ?”, they asked.
“1000” he replied
without hesitation.
“Thank you”, they dismissed him.

Next the statistician.
“How much is 500 plus 500?”
“On the average, 1000 with 95 %
confidence” replied the statistician.
“Thank you”, they dismissed him.

Next the accountant.
“How much is 500 plus 500?”
“What would you like it to be?”
responded the accountant.

They hired the accountant.


Joke 3:

Several people are asked to prove that all odd integers greater than 2 are prime.

Tenured mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime. Ha! A
counterexample.

Statistician: Let’s verify this on
several randomly selected odd numbers, say, 23, 47, and 83.

Computer programmer: 3 is prime, 3
is prime, 3 is prime, 3 is prime…

Politician:
Shouldn’t the goal really be to create a greater society where all numbers are prime?

Sarah Palin: What’s a prime?

** Note: Some posts on Math-Fail are user-submitted and NOT verified by the admin of the site before publication. If you find this post to be distasteful, non-math related, ?or something worse?, then definitely leave a comment letting me know. Thanks very much! Mike **

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