16 reasons why God would never get tenure

We’re not sure if God ever wanted to get tenure, but he definitely wouldn’t have stood a chance based on his actions.

He had only one major publication.
And it was in Hebrew.
And it had no references.
And it was not published in a refereed journal.
And some even doubted that He wrote it Himself.
It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then?
His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate His results.
He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
When subjects did not behave as predicted, He often punished them, or just deleted them from the sample.

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  1. The references were implied, they are all, “Because I said so!”

    How can you publish in a refereed journal. Does God have any peers for a peer review?

    What has he done since then? Watching the fall of every sparrow, that sort of thing.

    Ethics Board? Isn’t he like the chairman or something?

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