Do you ever feel like something is completely true but can’t prove it to the rest of the world? Here are a couple of types of mathematical proofs that will help you make your case, no matter how wrong you really are.
Multiplicative IdentityAdditive Identity
Multiply both expressions by zero, e.g.,
- 1 = 2
- 1 × 0 = 2 × 0
- 0 = 0
Since the final statement is true, so is the first.
Proof by Adding a Constant
2 = 1 if we add a constant C such that 2 = 1 + C.
Proof by Revenge
“2+2=5” “no it doesn’t” “REVENGE!”
Proof by August
Since August is such a good time of year, no one will disagree with a proof published then, and therefore it is true. Of course, the converse is also true, i.e., January is crap, and all the logic in the world will not prove your statement then.
Proof by Belief
“I believe assertion A to hold, therefore it does. Q.E.D.”
Proof by Cumbersome Notation
Best done with access to at least four alphabets and special symbols. Matrices, Tensors, Lie algebra and the Kronecker-Weyl Theorem are also well-suited.
Proof by Delegation
“The general result is left as an exercise to the reader.”
Simple Proof by Hubris
I exist, therefore I am correct.
Proof by Lecturer
It’s true because my lecturer said it was true. QED.
Proof by Wikipedia
If the Wikipedia website states that something is true, it must be true. Therefore, to use this proof method, simply edit Wikipedia so that it says whatever you are trying to prove is true, then cite Wikipedia for your proof.
What more? Go to uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Proof