Quick jokes

Question: What’s the difference between Gabriel’s horn and a vuvuzela?

Answer: Gabriel’s horn has infinite length and finite volume, while a vuvuzela has finite length and infinite volume.



You know what I find odd?

Integers that leave a remainder of 1 when divided by 2.



In the final question of an oral final exam, a student was asked to find the limit (to infinity) of the
following sequence:

I know,
I know that you know,
I know that you know that I know,
I know that you know that I know that you know,

Dazzled, all the student could think of  was, “I don’t know”.

The professor, equally baffled, replied, “Seriously? Come on. It’s common knowledge!”



Heisenberg’s wife: “I can’t find my keys!”

Heisenberg: “You must know too much about their momentum.”



Student: ”Would you like the window opened or closed?”

Mathematician: ”Yes.”



pi mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders (e^1 – pi) beers, the second one orders (e^2 – pi) beers, and so on. When the last one comes up, the bartender decides to be generous and gives him twenty beers.



Did you know that the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stands for ‘Benoit B. Mandelbrot’?

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Stats pics


Stats pics




Stats pics

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Samurai Sudoku


samurai sudoku



The Samurai Sudoku puzzle is a variation of Sudoku except it consists of 5 sudokus which are linked via the centre one. It’s definitely a good challenge. (Source).

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Futurama Math Proof

In the Futurama episode The Prisoner of Benda Ken Keeler displays and proves an original theorem in order to advance the plot of the episode.


futurama proof

In the episode, the professor invents a machine that swaps the minds
of two people, but the swap can only happen once for a given pair of
people. The problem posed is:

Given a group of people with swapped minds (with some swapped several times), is it possible to return each mind to their original bodies?
What are necessary conditions?

The theorem provided by Futurama is now named the “Futurama Theorem” and has its own entry on wikipedia! The theorem states that, no matter how many individuals have swapped minds with one another, everyone’s mind can be returned to his or her original body by using only two additional individuals (who have yet to swap minds with anyone).

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99 cent store sued for raising prices to 99.99 cents


nice

The discount chain 99 Cent Only Stores decided to increase their prices to 99.99 cents (that’s less than a penny increase) and as a result were sued by its customers. The chain was hit with two class-action lawsuits last year for “deceptive business practices” and “misleading advertising”.

One lawyer says, “If they call themselves 99 Cents Only, it should be 99 cents.”
However, the CEO claims that: “we changed all the signs, we have a large poster in the window of every store explaining the increase, we put it in our ads in the newspaper, we put it on the radio…”

That 0.99 cent increase was projected to bring in an additional $12 million in revenue annually!!

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Nerd moment on Reddit


reddit pic

Hint: Think Fibonacci. (Source: http://www.reddit.com)

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Lies in online dating

Christian Rudder has a post over on the okcupid blog discussing the lies people tell on the online dating site. For example, the male heights on okcupid follow the expected normal distribution, however, it is shifted to the right of where it should be:


online dating height distribution chart


He also looks at age, income, sexuality and age of profile picture, all in a statistical sort of way. It’s definitely an interesting read with lots of pretty charts and graphs.

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Nice Math Prof Email


math email

(Source: reddit.com/r/math)

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If sports got reported like science

Mike Knell wrote this superb parody of a hypothetical situation where a newscaster is reporting sports as if it were science. The reason for the parody is because people have been complaining that sports coverage usually uses highly technical jargon while science/technology coverage avoids the use of any specialist language or jargon.

His parody starts off:

“HOST: In sports news, Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti today heavily criticised a controversial offside decision which denied Didier Drogba a late goal, leaving Chelsea with a 1-all draw against Sunderland.
INTERCOM: Wait. Hold it. What was all that sports jargon?
HOST: It’s just what’s in the script. All I did was read it – I’ve got no idea what it’s really on about.
INTERCOM: Nobody without a PhD in football’s going to understand that. Who wrote this crap? It’s elitist rubbish, people will just turn off when they hear it. “Late equaliser”? “Offside”? We’ve got to get this rewritten so it’s more accessible.

(time passes..)

HOST: Let’s try this again, then. In sports news, a London football referee has reinterpreted the rules of the game in a manner which is causing controversy among the footballing establishment. Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti described the moment the referee revealed his new version of the rule.
ANCELOTTI: Well, obviously the referee called that decision as he saw it, but even I could see three men between Drogba and the goal. It’s terrible refereeing, and we’re disappointed to have been denied the win because of such a poor decision.
HOST: Hahaha! Wait a moment, Mr Ancelotti – our listeners will need to have some of that egghead jargon explained to them. Can you explain it a little more simply?”

You can read the rest over at his blog post.

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Math Movie Quiz Solutions

((Update: Solutions located HERE))

Spiked Math’s three part “Math Movie Quiz”:



The solutions (reading left to right followed by top to bottom) are:
Quiz 1
1. The Matrix (1999)
2. Signs (2002)
3. Ball of Fire (1941)
4. Duck Soup (1933)
5. Cross of Iron (1977)
6. The Social Network (2010)
7. Sin City (2005)
8. Heat (1995)
9. Goldeneye (1995)
10. Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Quiz 2

1. Snakes on a Plane (2006) – idea provided by Svein
2. Independence Day (1996)
3. Mean Girls (2004)
4. Paths of Glory (1957)
5. 8 Mile (2002) – idea provided by Thomas
6. The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
7. Field of Dreams (1989)
8. Alpha and Omega (2010)
9. The Thirteenth Floor (1999)
10. The Sum of All Fears (2002) – idea provided by Carlos

Quiz 3
1. Manhattan (1979)
2. Joan of Arc (1999)
3. Open Range (2003)
4. Inception (2010) – idea provided by Michał
5. The Odd Couple (1968)
6. In the Loop (2009)
7. Star Wars (1977)
8. The Exorcist (1973)
9. Transformers (2007)
10. Absolute Power (1997)

Note that some of them may have more than one answer that fits, such as Quiz 1, Number 8, which could also be “White Heat (1949)” as the heat equation was in drawn white. The answers above were my original intentions.

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