Funniest Thing a Professor Has Said In Class Compilation #1

If you’re stuck in class, you might as well have some fun in the meantime. Check out these funny lines professors have said:

My astronomy prof. had a slideshow about the creation of the universe (at .0001 seconds this happened, at .001 seconds, etc.) and the last slide was “Billions of years later, an intelligent species evolved and started asking questions.”

Well a brilliant girl by the (legal) name of Cookie raises her hand and asks, “Are we the intelligent species?”

And the prof, without missing a beat, replies, “Apparently not.”

We had to pair up for a partner project. However, there was an odd number of people.

“Well…I guess you three that are left are going to have to have a threesome. Are you ok with that?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, good. Just be sure to send me the video. You’re all 18, right?”

The hypothalamus is the part of the brain responsible for the four F’s: feeding, fleeing, fighting, and mating.

Source

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Can you wrap your brain around these illusions?

Your brain often likes playing tricks on your mind. Here are 4 optical illusions that will make your head spin.

Do you think this set is cool? Go to http://illusionsforthemind.com and you will find even more!

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Top 5 Nerdy Jokes

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Nerdy jokes! And each and every one of them is better than this one!

A cop stops Heisenberg on the freeway. The cop asks “do you know how fast you were going?”. Heisenberg says “no but i know where i am”.

 

I used to bad at geometry, but I turned that around 360 degrees.

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

A: Nothing; you can’t cross a scaler and a vector.

 

So, this SEO guru walks into a bar, bar & grill, bar and grill, tavern, pub, public house…

 

Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react.

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Math makes the world go round

We all know that math is the universal language, so that means that you can’t spell humor without it. Here are some funny math pictures. If you want more, go to mathmemes.com

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Why I never wanted to be an archaeologist

As you can see in the picture below, you can use all 3 shards from each column and each row to create a complete plate. That explains why no one bothered to dig them up for so many years!

Credit: Lee Sallows

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The problem with dating a mathematician

Should you date a mathematician? This is the question Tanya Khovanova asked herself on her blog. If you don’t know the answer from experience, you should look into what she has to say.

The book How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed by Graham Masterton has a chapter on how to choose a lover. The list of bad features also includes professions to avoid. Can you guess the first profession on the list? OK, I think you should be able to meta-guess given the fact that I am writing about it. Indeed, the list on page 64 starts:

Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…

I am an expert on NOT avoiding mathematicians: in fact, I’ve married three of them and dated x number of them. That isn’t necessarily because I like mathematicians so much; I just do not meet anyone else.

First, there are many mathematicians who, like my first husband, are very devoted to mathematics. I admire that devotion, but it means that they plan to do mathematics on Saturday nights and prefer to spend vacation at their desks. If they can only fit in one music concert per year, it is not enough for me. Of course, this applies to anyone who is obsessed by his work.

Second, there are mathematicians who believe that they are very smart. Smarter than many other people. They expand their credibility in math to other fields. They start going into biology, politics and relationships with the charisma of an expert, when in fact they do not have a clue what they are talking about.

For the conclusion, click here.

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Top 5 Weird Tests Paper Pictures

Tests are not always serious business.. Here are 5 of the weirdest test paper pictures you will see today. For more, go to testfails.com

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Why does the shower curtain move towards the water?

The worst part about taking a shower is getting attacked by the wet shower curtain. Luckily, David Schmidt discovered a logic explanation for why this happens so often and you are about to hear it.

To do the calculation, I drafted a model of a typical shower and divided the shower area into 50,000 minuscule cells. The tub, the showerhead, the curtain rod and the room outside of the shower were all included. I ran the modified Fluent software for two weeks on my home computer in the evening and on weekends (when my wife wasn’t using the computer). The simulation revealed 30 seconds of actual shower time.

When the simulation was complete, it showed that the spray drove a vortex. The center of this vortex¿much like the center of a cyclone¿is a low-pressure region. This low-pressure region is what pulls the shower curtain in. The vortex rotates around an axis that is perpendicular to the shower curtain. It is a bit like a sideways dust devil. But unlike a dust devil, this vortex doesn’t die out because it is driven continuously by the shower.

For an in depth explanation, click here.

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Mathematics fun

If you think math is a serious subject, you might be wrong. Check out these awesome math caricatures from http://keespopinga.blogspot.ca/2011/11/i-matematici-di-flatlandia.html

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The fourth dimension: Tesseract 101

The Tesseract is the four dimensional analogue of a cube and it is also known as a hypercube. Because imagining a four dimensional object is impossible, you will have to try to take it all in from this picture.

An even better example is a moving image:

You can read everything you need to know about Tesseracts here.

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