Math Fail

When I was in high-school my teacher used a projector to show us a couple of slides. She projected this on the whiteboard since we had no real projector-screen. When a student asked a question that demanded her to draw something she would block the projector with a book while she used the whiteboard.

So this guy sits at the back – by the projector. He never usually talked much. He raises his hand. The teacher takes a few moments to realize he wants to say something and gives him the word. He goes

“I’m really sorry, but I just want to say, that the book is on fire.”

The class turns around towards the guy – and right beside him – the book is totally LIT UP – having been set on fire from the light of the projector. Teacher goes crazy and starts screaming. Bunch of people is laughing or running around. In the end someone gets out a fire-extinguisher and sprays it all over the classroom. This all resulted in a damaged projector, foam-filled room and a short day.

Best class I ever attended.

When I was around 12 years old I had to give a presentation on why drugs are bad.

I was already pretty nervous presenting in front of the whole class, but I start by describing marijuana and saying how it can make you “spaced out” and then say something like “heyyyyyy dudessssssssssss” giving my best impression of someone who was stoned.

Then the teacher says “Oh that just seems like how your normally act all the time.”

Most of the class laughs at this, and now I’m pissed that here I am already nervous about giving a presentation and the teacher is dissing me in front of the whole class.

So after the laughter dies down I say “The next drug is LSD, this is a drug that can cause hallucinations, and for you to believe in and say things that are totally unreal and untrue.” Then I pause dramatically for a moment, turn towards the teacher, and totally deadpan “You look like you’ve lost a lot of weight Mrs. Patterson.”

ENTIRE CLASS ERUPTS INTO PANDEMONIUM AND UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER.

This lasted for around 5 minutes during which time the teacher could not regain control of the class. It was actually pretty awkward everyone was just laughing and laughing and I was still standing up at the front of the class because I’m still in the middle of the presentation. I felt kind of bad for the teacher because the laughter went on for so long, but Jesus Christ I’m 12 years old and doing public speaking, maybe next time you won’t heckle your own students.

I didn’t get in trouble, I think the teacher was just like “touche.”