10. It’s Fermat’s birthday 9. I didn’t know whether “i” is the square root of -1 or “i” is the square root of -1. 8. I accidentally divided by 0 and my paper burst into flames. 7. I had too much pie and got sick. 6. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. …
Jokes: Top 10 excuses for not doing your homework! Read More »
Proof by vigorous handwaving: Works well in a classroom or seminar setting. Proof by forward reference: Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author, which is often not as forthcoming as at first. Proof by funding: How could three different government agencies be wrong? Proof by example: The author …
Written by: Denis Gannon (to the tune of “Oh, Christmas Tree”) Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, How tough are both your branches. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, To pass what are my chances? Derivatives I cannot take, At integrals my fingers shake. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, How tough are both your branches. Oh, Calculus; Oh, Calculus, Your …
Q: What’s nutritious and commutes?An Abelian soup. Q: What’s hot, chunky, and acts on a polygon?Dihedral soup. Q: What’s sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice?Zorn’s lemon. Q: What is brown, furry, runs to the sea, and is equivalent to the axiom of choice?Zorn’s lemming.Q: What do you get if you cross a …
Once upon a time, (1/T) pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling through a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had …
Funny Joke – The Integration of Pretty Little Polly Nomial Read More »
CLEARLY: I don’t want to write down all the “in-between” steps.TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you’re in the wrong class.OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren’t sleeping when we discussed this earlier because I refuse to repeat it.RECALL: I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but for those of you who …
Dictionary of Definitions of Terms Used in Math Lectures Read More »
Being without you is like being a metric space in which existsa cauchy sequence that does not converge. Since distance equals velocity x time, let’s let velocity and timeapproach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. i = Ø when i am not with you.Can I explore your mean value? My …
Aerodynamicists do it in drag. Algebraists do it by symbolic manipulation. Algebraists do it in a ring, in fields, in groups. Analysts do it continuously and smoothly. Applied mathematicians do it by computer simulation.Banach spacers do it completely. Bayesians do it with improper priors. Catastrophe theorists do it falling off part of a sheet. Combinatorics …
There once was a number named piWho frequently liked to get high.All he did every dayWas sitting in his room and playWith his imaginary friend named i. There once was a number named eWho took way too much LSD.She thought she was great.But that fact we must debate;We know she wasn’t greater than 3. A …
I wish you were my calculator so I could plug my natural log into you. I wish I was sin^2(x) and you were cos^2(x), so together we could be 1. I wish our dot product were 0 so my vector could be normal to your unit circle. I want to be a derivative so I …