Professor: What is a root of f(z) of multiplicity k? Student: It is a number a such that if you plug it into f, you get 0; if you plug it in again, you again get 0, and so k times. But if you plug it into f for the k+1-st time, you do not …
Why did the mathematician name his dog “Cauchy”? Because he left a residue at every pole.
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said …
Hilbert had a student who one day presented him with a paper purporting to prove the Riemann Hypothesis. Hilbert studied the paper carefully and was really impressed by depth of the argument; but unfortunately he found an error in it which even he could not eliminate. The following year the student died. Hilbert asked the …
The Yoda embedding, contravariant it is.
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with an elephant? A: The trivial elephant bundle on a chicken.
Q: In the course of a murder investigation, the police bring five suspects into custody. The detective releases suspects 1 and 4 after just a few easy questions. Why? A: The other three were the prime suspects!
What do mathematicians call retirement? The Aftermath
As a child, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine. As I got older, I realized it was just a phase.