Math Jokes

Complex math joke

Some sample fortunes in a fortune cookie: You are a complex person and i would like to be your friend! The fortune of this cookie is obvious. Greet new friends with a handshake. At a math social, greet new friends with the handshake problem. Do not follow the instructions in this fortune cookie. This cookie …

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Bad math joke

Thanks to anonymous for this submission. Anon says: My Dynamics professor concluded his lecture with this joke after reviewing the properties of the cross product.

Mathy jokes

Why don’t they make Klein bottles in China?They’re not orientable. I don’t like my girlfriend… Mind if I do a you-substitution? A guy walks into a sandwich shop and sees a sign that reads, “Home of the Meanest Grilled Cheese in Town.” So he orders the grilled cheese. When his bill arrives the waitress asks …

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Quick jokes

Question: What’s the difference between Gabriel’s horn and a vuvuzela? Answer: Gabriel’s horn has infinite length and finite volume, while a vuvuzela has finite length and infinite volume. You know what I find odd? Integers that leave a remainder of 1 when divided by 2. In the final question of an oral final exam, a …

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Probability Joke

I haven’t seen this joke before but it was posted over on the xkcd forums by user ++$_. Enjoy:Three investment bankers met for a power lunch. “Guys,” said the first banker, “I just had a billion-dollar idea.”“You’d better tell us,” said the other two bankers simultaneously. They could smell the scent of their impending bonus …

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Funny math jokes

A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying “I differentiate you!” One day he met a new patient; and true to form …

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