Geek Fail

Google suggest fail

This is just a small collection of some funny google suggestions.

The first one is “how to make”… ummm…


So I started off looking on tips on “how to find a job” but while typing that I
got distracted and ended up surfing a bunch of websites on how to …

This got me curious as to what would show up with “how do i tell my boy”:

and compare it to “how do i tell my girl”:

Not very funny… so I decided to get creative and see what people get caught doing…


dad with my gf? that doesn’t sound good at all!


guitarist? wait… what?

The following one I’ve seen somewhere else…

What about chinese people though? Seems like they like to eat things…

Then I got bored of this…. but apparently instead of being bored, i’m actually EXTREMELY terrified of chinese people… probably because they eat babies lol.

Also, my grandma is pregnant… oh dear….

I don’t even want to click on the next one (video link??) Oh dear oh dear:

omg i just…

And how does this even happen? my little brother…

“what”…. it’s a simple word… but gives a strange result:

Also, for some strange reason my son is addicted to … you’ll never guess!!

However, according to google my daughter isn’t addicted to anything… that doesn’t seem fair!!

Yo momma so (nerdy ones)

Boing Boing had a post titled “The Nerdy Dozens”, where on Xeni Jardin’s twitter account a bunch of very nerdy “yo momma” jokes appeared. A lot of these were hilarious, so to preserve the ingenuity I collected the most nerdiest ones. Kudos to those who came up with these! Starting with my favorites:

  • Yo mamma so fat, China uses her to block the internet.
  • Yo mama so fat pkzip can’t compress her.
  • Yo momma so fat, it takes 5 warlocks to summon her.
  • Yo momma so fat you gotta address her in 128 bit.
  • Yo momma so fat they mapped her for Google street view.
  • Yo momma so old she goes on carbon dates.
  • Yo momma so stupid, she’s currently on a quest for the Head of Vecna.
  • Your momma is so mean she stole the walrus’ bukkit and ate kitteh’s cheezburger.
  • Yo momma so mean she has no standard deviation.

and some more…

  • Yo momma so fat THX can’t even surround her.
  • Yo momma so dumb, she went to the dentist and asked for a bluetooth.
  • Yo momma so stupid, she thinks the Large Hadron Collider is a gay porn film.
  • Yo momma’s so big and ugly she lies dreaming in R’lyeh.
  • Yo momma so fat she doesn’t just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.
  • Yo momma so old, she’s an arguing point between Creationists and Evolutionists.
  • Yo Momma so fat, even Ralph Lauren’s Photoshop team can’t help her ass.
  • Yo momma so dense she got her own event horizon.
  • Your momma is so fat NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.
  • Yo momma so weak physicists have unified her with electromagnetism.
  • Yo momma so fat, she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.
  • Yo momma so fat, she bends light.
  • Yo momma so big, Google ran out of pixels tryin to Street View her butt.
  • Yo mama so fat, Stephen Hawking found three extra dimensions in her panties!
  • Yo mama so dumb, she thinks the Lorenz-Fitzgerald contraction is what happened right before she had twins.
  • Yo mama so FAT32, NTFS won’t even give her permission.
  • Yer momma so dumb the Higgs Boson comes back in time to shut her mouth.
  • Yo mama so dumb, she thinks steampunk is a buffet item.
  • Yo mama so fat that her presence itself distort the space-time tapestry.
  • Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is that of the universe.
  • Yo mama so fat, she emits Bekenstein-Hawking radiation (at least until she shrinks and dissipates…)
  • Your mama’s so fat, when black holes see her, they shake their heads and travel in the opposite direction.
  • Yo mama so fat her diet is Hawking Radiation.
  • Yo mama so fat she changes the universal constant of gravitation.
  • Yo mamma is so massive she has regular interactions with neutrinos.
  • Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house she sits around all 10*10*16 multiversal instantiations of the house.
  • Yo momma so fat, Han Solo sliced her open with a lasersaber and popped luke inside for warmth.
  • Your momma is so fat NASA shot a rocket into her ass looking for water.
  • Yo momma so fat, she engirdles the world, and has engendered Ragnorök.
  • Yo momma so big and nasty, Al Gore’s afraid when she farts it’s gonna blow a new hole in the ozone layer.
  • Yo momma so big, the Fail Whale sued her in Internet court for unlawful impersonation.
  • Yo momma so fat, she took geometry in high school just cause she heard there was gonna be some pi.
  • Yo momma so fat she doesn’t just have a low center of gravity, she has an elliptical orbit.
  • Yo momma so Pi, she can’t be expressed accurately as a fraction.
  • Yo momma’s so white she thinks Malcolm X is Malcolm the 10th.
  • Yo momma’s so fat her laptop has a grease trap.
  • Your momma’s so large, CERN plans to use her to track down the Higgs boson.
  • Yo momma’s so big Falcon Heene tried to fly away in her.
  • Yo momma so weak physicists have unified her with electromagnetism.
  • Yo momma so dumb she think encryption is what happens when they bury you.
  • Yo momma’s so big and ugly she lies dreaming in R’lyeh.
  • Yo momma so sleazy, even Valleywag won’t link to her.
  • Yo momma got such a big head, Ralph Lauren don’t even need to photoshop her.
  • Yo momma so old, she’s an arguing point between Creationists and Evolutionist.
  • Yo momma so round there’s a formula for calculating her volume.
  • Yo momma so oily, America’s gonna invade her and set up a pipeline contract with Halliburton.
  • Yo momma so ugly she made tubgirl run screamin and take a bath.
  • Yo momma so dumb she thinks pluto is a planet.
  • Yo momma so dumb, she thinks inbound links means eatin up hotdogs.
  • Yo momma so dumb, she thinks the Singularity is what happens when you get divorced.
  • Yo momma so skanky, not even /b/ would fap to her.
  • Yo mama so big, she needs a multi-petabyte RAID array just to store her fat ass.
  • Yo momma so dumb, she thought Google was her phone number. And you wonder why she don’t call.
  • Yo mama so dumb, when you told her your laptop was from Apple, she bit right into it and thought the keys was seeds.
  • Yo momma so stupid, when Google Wave, she waved right back.
  • Yo momma’s so fat, when her iPhone beeps for an incoming txt, people think she’s a truck backin’ up.
  • Yo momma so nasty Keyboard Cat furiously tried to play her off until its paws bled.
  • Your mama’s so fat, when black holes see her, they shake their heads and travel in the opposite direction.
  • Yo mama so stupid she waited for the Universal Serial Bus.
  • Your mama is so fat, she expresses her dress size in scientific notation.
  • Your mama is so old, she still has gills in her prom photo.
  • Yo momma so fat, the ratio of her circumference to her diameter is four.